BCLC Parents' Learning Center

Empowering children is also of great relevance, as parents and teachers seek to find ways to help them recognize and cultivate their own strengths, be able to stand their ground, resist peer pressure, and make good decisions for themselves.
 
I personally believe that “we” have become way too overprotective. Children need to take risks, learn from their mistakes (if they perceive it that way!), and try again another way. In this way they eventually understand themselves as capable, persistent, adaptable, resilient, and smart: all of which add up to feeling confident and in control of their own lives, which means empowered.
 
Children also benefit from being held accountable for their actions and asked to be responsible for something, like pet care or some cleaning task or helping with food preparation. Again, this contributes to their understanding of themselves as capable, leading to confidence and empowerment.
 
Give your child regular opportunities to make their own decisions. Obviously, you are in control of which ones: the high-stakes decisions are in yourpower, but smaller, yet important ones, give kids practice in thinking about their actions and the possible consequences, and in deciding what they think about a given situation or topic. Over time, they learn to trust their own judgment, which becomes crucial as they move further and further into the world.
 
It is powerful for children to get to express their opinions about things that require some thought. For instance, “Do you think it’s ok to…….?  Why?” or, “What do you think we could do to help so & so?” or “What would you do if your best friend pushed you?” These conversations can come up organically as you share your daily stories, but sometimes the adults have to exercise patience for the slower pace of children’s thinking process. If children are given time to think, decide and articulate their views, they gain a sense of themselves as people whose thoughts and opinions matter.
 
Finally, I believe that children gain a sense of their own worth and power if we teach them how to set boundaries. In preschool, many of you have probably heard me cue children to stand up for themselves while respecting others. For example, kids should know how to say, “Don’t touch me; this is my body,” or “that is my project. Please don’t touch it,” or “I want to play by myself.”
 
I protect their right to build or draw or paint until they are satisfied, and ask them to let those who might be waiting know when they are finished. All of these tactics help instill in children the belief that they have rights, that they and their work are worthy of protection, and also that they in turn must respect others’ boundaries.  
 
All of these small experiences add up, over time, to a child who is thoughtful, confident, able to speak up for her or himself, and to trust her or his own judgment. That means she or he is empowered, and that is a big payoff for your years of work!
 
 
Here are links to some articles, videos and podcasts on empowering children:
 
Here is an article that is short and to the point. I like the reminder that sometimes children need help to complete a task, and it’s ok to give them help! Sometimes I think we (I know I did with my kids!) get stuck in an attitude that says, “you made the mess, you clean it up,” which doesn’t really teach them to take responsibility, it teaches them that they’re on their own when they’re overwhelmed (of course, you have to ascertain if you’re being wheedled or not!). Helping models helping! Isn’t that something we want to teach them?
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2600
 
This article is in a 10-tips format, which I like because it makes it easy to implement. I found it thought-provoking. It might make you think about times in your own daily lives that you can either add to or subtract from your child’s feelings of empowerment.
https://www.babble.com/babble-voices/10-ways-to-empower-your-kids-to-be-better-humans/
 
This one touches on the ripple effect that a powerful person can have in influencing others.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/byron-garrett/empowering-children-the-r_b_13380428.html
 
I don’t agree with this author’s assertion that children are a blank slate, but I think it’s true that children become what we tell them they are, all-in-all. I also really like the “pirate stance,” which reminds me of “teasing shields,” which we’ve made before, and which help kids to remember their own power to resist or ignore the rude words or actions of others. This is one way to set a boundary: “I don’t have to listen to that.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-top-tips-to-empower-your-kids_us_589032bee4b04c35d583523c
 
This article delves into how important it is for kids to know that you value their opinions, thoughts and ideas.
https://goodmenproject.com/families/7-things-a-parent-can-say-to-empower-their-child-dg/
 
A couple of TED talks:
 
How to Ignite and Empower Children: Soulamia Gourani.
 
This one made me wonder, “why do we discourage children, then congratulate them for making it “against all odds,” when we could just encourage them in the first place?!? Gourani makes a compelling case for really seeing and listening to kids, and helping them see their own value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88lL_CpCS48
 
Parenting to Empower: Harry Judd
Harry Judd asserts that the prime opportunity for parents to empower positive decision making in their children lies in a values based approach. Instilling values early on provides a sense of security and self-confidence that makes children less likely to be negatively influenced by outside forces.
 
Interestingly, Harry is a teenager.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=3QYg4SRpR6Q